"My Typical Day at the Gym"-humor

Going to the gym is the ideal way to start any day. And by "ideal day," I, of course, mean, "absolute nightmare."

In fact, most people who exercise in the morning try to get it done as soon as they wake up. What a way to start the day. Stop dreaming. Wake up. Nightmare.

Am I being a little overdramatic, sure...but let's be honest: going to the gym is definitely no easy feat.

Here is my typical day at the gym.

7am: I’m awakened from a sound sleep by my phone alarm, letting my brain know, “it’s time to stop enjoying dreamland in this comfortable, cozy bed and get up and start sweating.” Fantastic. It would have been a lot nicer to have tried to get a little extra beauty sleep (after all, it has to start working one of these days, right?).

7:17am: I’m still in bed. I’ve decided it would be better to sit and think about going to the gym instead of actually going to the gym. I’ve thought about the treadmill. The weights. The aerobics class. The bike. I haven’t done any of it, but in my head, I've accomplished all of it. I've also thought about approximately 78,044 other random thoughts, including Taco Bell, beer, the sitcom ALF from the late 1980s, and my old toys I had when I was a kid. Ahh...being a kid. What a simpler time...when exercise wasn't going to the gym, it was playing tag.

7:39am: I suppose I have to get up. Only because I have to go to the bathroom. I get up, make my way to the bathroom. Brush my teeth and do my business.

7:51am: I’d better have some coffee before I go to the gym...and maybe check my phone. Oh, look at that. My friends posted some stuff on Instagram. Better scroll through the feed mindlessly for a little while.

8:13am: Oh, god. I’m late for the gym.

8:46am: I've finally made it to the gym. I look around, sizing up all the exercise options. Let's start slow. The treadmill. On speed two.

8:58am: This treadmill is so boring. Oh look, it’s my friend I haven’t seen in forever. Time to go socialize!

9:21am: Gosh, I really should do some light free weights, that’s so good to tone up my biceps.

9:22am: Nah, that’s boring too.

9:29am: Well, time to get going. I don’t want to be late for work, and I still need to shower!

I've realized that my gym experience is more about me dreading the idea of going to the gym. I do end up dragging myself up there, but not really doing much exercise. BUT. Because I did have the willpower to go, I treat myself to some Starbucks on the way to work.

Calories Burned at the Gym: 90

Calories in my Starbucks Venti S'mores Frappuccino: 600

Yeah. I've got this gym thing down.