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The "Joys" Of Homeschooling-humor


One of the most excellent ways to altogether avoid a social life and not actually understand how the world works is by being homeschooled.


It’s not all bad, at least there’s no bus to catch, uniform to wear or bullies to deal with - but it certainly is no walk in the park.


Here are five of the top reasons you might want to (or more realistically not want to consider homeschooling).


Your House is the Classroom. Sure, it sounds fantastic that there's no waking up, rushing to get dressed and running out the door to catch the bus - but the reality is that when you live where you're schooled, there's absolutely no separation between work and fun. What really can suck is sitting in your living room looking at things around your house you'd rather be doing. Video game system. Toys. Books. That granola bar, you hid under the couch cushions. There's nowhere to hide for you though, you're homeschooled. Forget a reprieve by asking to go to the restroom. That's the same bathroom your parents are going to make you clean late on. Blah. Oh, hi again, Teacher Mom. There's no lying about grades. No lying about getting in trouble. No pretending you're not a little mischievous. Teacher mom knows all and sees all. She also is the judge, jury, and executioner. There's no putting off anything. Not only does Teacher Mom know every last little quirk you have, she's not letting you get away with jack squat. Oh, and get caught doing something terrible? Forget about it. That could mean the pizza you were hoping for at dinner magically turns into boring ham sandwiches. Gym Class. Physical education is one of the most fun things about traditional schooling. Friends, fun, exercise. Now, at home? If you even have physical training, it's you, doing squats alone in the backyard. That's about as much fun as...well, doing squats alone in the backyard. After School Activities. Correct. There are none. Forget about dances, art class, or gymnastics at school. They don't exist. The only after school activity, you can hope for is going to the public library to watch the kids who actually go to school huddle around a table together to laugh and socialize. Meanwhile, while you sit alone, hoping no one notices you're reading "How to Make Friends for Dummies." Dating. It goes without saying that dating is pretty much off the radar. Not only off the radar but out of the galaxy and pretty much non-existent in the universe. Trying to find someone to date (unless it's your pet, and let's face it - they're not that interesting) is like trying to spot Bigfoot in the forest at Midnight. Not going to happen. And if maybe you do get the chance, no one is even going to believe you when you tell them anyway.


Those are just five of the reasons. There are about 1,908 more - but those are stories for another time.


Is homeschooling all bad? Definitely not, but it’s definitely challenging - especially at lunchtime, when it’s you, alone with last night’s leftovers, again.

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